Hans Belt©

AHHGGG! Screams Hans Belt as he scraped his elbow across the side of the curb. His eyes were where his eyebrows go, his eyebrows were none, his hands were where his feet go as his feet were his hands. His ears were way too low and his teeth pointed straight out. He was all sideways and crooked as was his erie little smirk. When he walked, he swirled and spun and wobbled to and fro but one way or another, he made it to where he was going. He loved to watch college football games, golf and smoke cigars, and he also had quite a talent for restoring old shovels and tools. "I've always wanted to be one of the guys who takes your tickets and controls the tilt-a-whirl at the fair" says Hans Belt as he cautiously whips out another toothpick to suck on. As soon as Hans would sweep his government hand-out prize from the old wooden mailbox, he would begin his long journey to the local 7-11 for his weekly bag of goodies. One day on his journey, Hans snapped at the pelvis and the Engineers and Doctors were clueless as to how he went together. They tried very hard but then decided to donate him to the Museum of Science and History as an Ankleosaurus skeleton. Hans was fortunate enough to absorb one last stroke of luck as he was fastened securely to the large oblong marble pedestal for all to point at and torment. There was a TV near him just below the moosehead on the dark brown paneling wall, so he could continue to happily watch his college football games.