Prescription Murder©
Phillip Knox was chiseling a hole into the corner of the basement. The evil voices had, once again, kept him awake all night long.He couldn't take it anymore. He had tried everything besides going after the tormenting demons, and that was the only solution now. At least it was what he considered to be his last hope of ridding himself from their hellish ridicule. The demons came one night while Phillip was eating a pastrami sandwich with cheese. He had just bitten into the sandwich when he heard someone tell him that he was a bogus dude. He looked about the kitchen, but none was to be seen. Thinking, perhaps, that the pastrami
had gone straight to his head, he continued feeding when he, once again, heard a voice. This time, the voice proclaimed that he was a stupid nobody. "Stop calling me names!", exclaimed Phillip with a mouthful of bread. "God! Can I get no peace?!! Whomever you are, you best just leave me alone! Don't pick on me! Leave me alone!" "Big Dummy!", taunted the voice, "retard!" "God!!!", Phillip screamed as he spit out the sandwich, threw the rest away, and stormed out of the kitchen. He flopped his large belly down on his bead, hugged his pillow and
began to weep. He wasn't afraid of the voice, he was just hurt and knew the things the voice was telling him might possibly be true. Phillip cried himself to sleep that night. It was two entire weeks later that the voice once again began to speak. Phillip had all but forgotten the incident, blaming a dose of bad pastrami for the encounter. He was staring out the window at the fat, ugly womanwho lived next door. The woman was pacing back and forth in her yard ringing a large bell and chanting something over and over. Phillip strained his ear to hear what it was that the obese lady was saying, when a very loud voice screamed in his ear.
"God", Phillip yelled as he covered his ear, "you could've made me deaf! What's your problem?!!" The lady outside turned towards Phillip, looked him straight in the eyes, and began chanting at him. In between each verse, she would clap he hands twice. He couldn't make out what she was singing until the voice chimed in a sang with the lady. "Leave...him...alone...(clap clap). Don't...pick...on him (clap clap). The voice sang along to the mouth movements of the incredibly overweight woman. The voice liked this tune and continued singing it repeatedly
throughout the night, driving Phillip crazy. The singing and torture continued constantly and non-stop for months. At one time, Phillip went to see a Phychic. The raven-headed soothsayer took one look at Phillip and told him he was insane. "God!", whined Phillip, "What is wrong with you people? Cannot anyone see my disenchantment with this whole affair?!!" And so it was today that Phillip was to finally relieve himself of the problem that had been plaguing him for what seemed to be a lifetime. Chisel at the wall he did. Chisel, chisel, chisel until finally, he dug himself a hole large enough to poke his finger through. He laid on his large
tummy and stuck his right eye up to the little tunnel to see if anything was visible behind the wall. There was no reason why he assumed that the demons must lie beyond this wall. He just remembered watching The Amityville Horror, and seeing how those people found a gateway to hell in their basement, so he figured that must be the place to start looking. And
look he did, until he saw something coming rapidly towards his eye. It was a finger, and it poked him in the eye. "God!", screamed Phillip, "you could've taken my eye out!" Then the voice spoke. "Those who are silly get a wet willy!", whispered the evil voice from hell. And with that, the inside of Phillips left ear felt moist and sticky. "Next time you yelly, you get a redbelly!" promised the voice. And so Phillip once again ran crying to his bedroom, and as he passed his life-size pin-up poster of Larry King, he ripped it from the wall. "I'm not worthy!", he stated as he threw the poster in the wastebasket. And the voice replied, "No. You're not. You're barely a man."